arttistic's Diaryland Diary

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Oh! I Had a Birthday...

Dunno how to explain of what had happened these few days. Still pissed off over my chassis trailer design. I�ll be staying up late for a month after this. The New Bulk Depot Labuan tender has yet to be done. Oh.. there�s one more.. the Murphy Oil tanks� err.. when am I going to sleep? Abang Ishak, engineering manager aku tu tengah buat dek je ni.. nanti jadik cam projek PDB Prai ari tu baru la nak terhegeh � hegeh cam tenuk.. padan muka dia! Tapi kan ..padan muka aku sekali sebab aku yang kena siapkan document tu untuk dia. Ciss..! Har har har!

I have just decided not to go to work tomorrow.. the truth is, I promised my CEO I�d present my spesification of the design together with the drawing tomorrow.. I know he�s busy, tapi apa salahnya aku pontengkan? He he..besides, I haven�t had any mc or holidays for months. Even on weekends I�d be in the office. This time I don�t care... like it or not I�m not coming to work.. and yes.. im trying to run away.. ko tunggula on Monday.. esok aku nak gi ronggeng ngan boss lain. I know he wont miss me.. he got a professional test to attend and my project is just not really important..hmm..I�m bad.. and I like that :p

Ha.. nak jadik cite pagi tadi , Fareh, my immediate superior cum my VP cum Business Development Director cum MD cum a-damned-young-30-year-old boss met me and asked me to close the door when I get in his room..jeng ..jeng..jeng�he broke off the silence by telling � I have a brotherly advice to give to you� I was like ..dia ni sihat ke tidak?.. �Err...it seems that you have been one of the most active internet user in the company..� � and that was it!.. ni mesti si Halim pegi website xxx pastu guna user name aku ni,pas tu sume sume cookies tiba kat server guna nama aku.. so apa nak buat.. aku sengih je la.. yang best nya tu siap keluar si kieli cikgu komputer tu nya website skali. So aku hanya menyengih kan diri je. Nasib baik si Fareh tu baik.. pucat lesi aku masa tu.. dia tak marah .. tapi dia kata tak productive je.. ok ler boss.. tak buat lagi.. tp sebelum tu aku nak jotos kepala Halim budak panjang dan lembab tu sbb menyusahkan aku.. siapla ko lepas ni�

2 days back, I got a birthday party surprise from my friends, which was not really a surprise because I strolled in when they were preparing the cake. I remember wearing this blue purple baju kurung on that day and every body said I look really nice (nak bodek le tu).. and when I told Zaid abt how innocent I feel wearing that baju kurung , he said its hard for him to keep his face straight. Dan ia menunjukkan betapa tak innocent nya aku ni.. ciss! Suprisingly, lots of ppl remembered my birthday this year.. showered with cards and chocolates, I gave some to my friends.. biar diaorg gemuk.. :)

But what struck me that the person I wanted most to remember did not call... I was simultaneously disappointed and crest fallen. I was not angry but scratched a little. Although this person is no longer a part of my present life as he refused to be, he always grips that special part in my heart. He was the person who responsible to change parts of my perspective towards life by telling me that life is a process that cannot be learned from schoolbook and to catch the trade wind in my sails. He made a prominent mark in my life, so prominent that I remember each word said like a cut from a knife. So prominent that I was insensible for a while when he faded away. But when at last I finally held a grip of what had actually happened, I sat down myself and then only the reality finally hit like a sunken anchor that� I am not important anymore� I swallowed every rejection like antacids but at the same time refused to pick up hatred to be applied to the situation. Once, I saw him from far and went totally rigid at my gaze for an hour. I still remember that perpetual smile, soothing words, the laughter and the tears that fall� I want him to take all that back. Something that has turned to ashes just cannot rise again�not in this case at least..

Why is it a sin for being 24-year-old and so young for some people?

Dear God, hear me� I thank you for blessing me with health and little happiness. If I should die in this shortest of time, I pray for an ample time to make my mother feels secure and happy even when I�m gone. I thank you for all the wisdom I have as a person right now and God, for another year, I thank you � I have grown up �:)