arttistic's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Honest? Honesty, I believe is always an option� when I started this online diary little did I know how much impact it would bring to the online community. I did not write this diary for anyone to criticize about how good or bad I am in writing or in saying my thought out loud. Ever wonder why we, humans at times feel the need to confide our thoughts on a paper than confiding to a friend? I don�t have the answer but I for all I know, I�ve always been honest on a paper even when I myself am not a writer. I don�t think I am all that honest as a person.. I believe, no matter how saint we are, there are still traces of hypocrisy in ourselves. I don�t know if I am ever capable to be a writer someday but I hope I can be one as a part of my journey later in life. For me writing it self takes a lot� everyday, when I sit in front of the computer thinking on what to write, I had to pick up and then gather the courage to even start a word. It�s like sapping the strength out of me because I am trying the best to be honest. It�s my intimate thought that I know is gonna be shared with others. Others that in reality are strangers to me. It is�honestly.. hard to be honest. But then again, I gotta grab this small opportunity in life to make sure I remember what honesty and attention is all about. I�ve always wanted to be heard� even from a mere stranger. I know how does it feel to scream on the top of your lung but no one seemed to hear it. I know how devastated it feels when you couldn�t voice up your reasons and it stopped there as if part of you died with the voice. The part that died had actually made me build walls around me. Shut it off and I couldn�t open up.. and I was hiding in my own cave. But all that�are about to change� So this is why I write� There are limits, though.. I can�t possibly telling just anybody my wildest, craziest, most eccentrical fantasies� hehe� nak mampus? Wanna know?.. gimme a call.. I can be contacted at 012-207� just kidding..hhehe Hmm� everybody must have heard about Pierre Png�s story by now. It seemed that I was so touched by his act of kindness, I almost burst out there and then in front of my operation crew. I had his funny look plastered on my face this morning when I heard his recovery story. Imagine donating part of your liver to the dying woman you are going to marry. And imagine that the chance of getting the same blood and tissue is only 5% for a person outside the family and yet he fits for it. They are really made for each other. Ahh� that�s what I call love� I wonder whether anyone would do the same for me.. iskh.. nak nangis le ni ..sob! sob! Sounds like those Tinseltown movie right?.. I heard it�s covered by CNN too...woh! Why do I feel like I have changed today? Oh God.. I have!..errkk.. @!%#!&@)*^%* 10:53 p.m. - 2002-05-13 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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