arttistic's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- if only I have the will to describe this +ok alan...imagine the eiffel tower structures with an extra 2mm thickness? Imagine how much steel they'd use with that additional extra... mesti banyak kan? So that's basically my work. Well, Sort of.. :) ********************************************** I feel as if the sorrounding of my life has become transparent in a way. Even if I would have died a thousand times and relive a thousand more, it would still be that way. Like clinging on a thin thread of faith, my head throbs as it begins its way to decide something that could unlock the the same ancient mysteries since infidelity was known. Why ask the head something that comes from the heart? I wish my scarce emotion could be dependable and rationality has its long long way behind me. But the ground I am walking upon now is real. But the air that fills my lung is real and the moment I am holding onto now is also real. Days have become fuzzed like rummaging through pieces of anecdotes not knowing which story to pick and adapt it in your life. I wish I knew what I was doing 2 weeks ago on that Tuesday night. I wish I knew that my brazen conduct was going to change my life forever. I just wish I could at least had an inkling of what future was all about on that night. I found myself being honest...mute white and flat since last 2 days. It wasn't a burden at all. If I am lucky this time, I do not know how to thank God on this miracle he has bestowed upon me... if...if...if... 5:46 p.m. - 2003-01-30 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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