arttistic's Diaryland Diary

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Remaining Unperturbed

Tajul..oh! Tajul

Perhaps it isn't a good idea to write anymore. Oh, how I hate being a foregone conclusion.

So far, I have remained private about my own identity, except for those who really know me from my Uni. days. It's not that I really mind getting discovered by those menacing men in the office. It's not me I am afraid of. I am mature enough to beat the embarrassment or as a sole solution just stop linking my archive folders or just delete everything and start a new one. Well, the later shall result to the change of my writing and which lead to my short-lived freedom of mengumpat the ceo. Heh..

I am afraid of the identity of other people I care. Fine. Let me tell ya this. No matter how foul it may seem for me to kutuk the ceo, I know deep down I still respect that man. Not many people started an engineering-based company at 26, had the professional engineering certificate at 23 and eyeing the future of the company differently from others. We need to be different in order to be better than them, so he said. This guy is a hard and a demanding man. He wants lead all the time and does not follow. This is what I'm really sick of.

People like Mr. J. This is what I'm afraid the most. All right.. never mind what happened in the past. Never mind that he did ask me out. Never mind that I happen to be fond of his sleazy smiles. Hey, he has been the feast of my eyes in my so-called boring life. Allrite.. not so much of a feast since he looks like a out-of-league Jawa anyway..hehehe. And if anybody from the office who reads this know, I will have to say sorry to Mr J because I did promise him not to tell anyone. But stories like this are irresistible for girls to keep to themselves.� Hmm.. me and my big mouth. I know that people have been snickering whenever I mentioned his name. Not that he has become the object of my affections, its just for fun. Kesian dia kalau the managers tahu..mana dia nak letak muka. And I wonder what will my partner say about this.

And if Breguet knows what I wrote, he will never talk to me anymore. It took me ages to actually reveal my feelings online. Even when I succumbed to finally forget him and stayed as friends, I did the courtesy not to blurt out anything. It's a good thing that he's a musician and I am an engineer. We both been leading a very different life. But this guy stays as friends forever.

And to mimi who couldnt stop laughing about the whole thing of being discovered, nanti ko... :)

I am actually smart enough detecting who has been reading the diary tough. If this guy is sympathetic enough, he'd keep quiet of his findings before I find myself being a flavor laughingstock of the month.

How pathetic life can be at times. Even now, I am not sure how many people here have been reading this. What I wrote would be deemed as horrible to some people but there's no point of explaining.

Half of the time I just feel like shit today.

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