arttistic's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My own way Still on the air at this moment. Im quite awed that I take my work pretty well now. Hit the desk 2 days back the moment I reached down in KL. Seriously, Kuching is still on my mind. No, I wasnt all that attached to the city but merely to the thought of having some private moment to myself. I met Seri with whom I havent met since last year. Did some shopping and went back to the hotel flat tired on that first day. I fell asleep for 14 hours like a baby. Bad headache, lack of sleep and the comfy bed all lured me to sleep like aphrodisiac flowing in. To good to resist. My dashing consultant came the next day looking as gorgeous as ever. His hotel confirmation was not there and decided to head home on the same day. So we left for site visit together with 2 other representatives from KL and Bintulu. This guy from Bintulu is a Dutch man and has the most amazing eyes Ive ever seen. They were this clear and big blue pairs looking at me and all I could think of was if he wanted to exchange those pairs with me. Interestingly enough, this was the most boring site visit Ive been and the less hectic. There were like 40 of us and all I saw were pokok nipah and batu bata. The place was somewhere in the Senari jungle and very near a muslim burial which caused the Sarawak Government controversy sometimes back. The project estimated at few hundred millions is technically challenging for us the bidders. My responsibility this time is bigger. Too many interfacing jobs though I can polish my management skill here. I would like to lead things my own way, give a wider view but heck, I still have my boss pointing things around me. Too many times i feel like a retarted doing her job. Each time having a superior me bossing me around. I wonder when will freedom be given to me to handle things my own sweet way. _______________________________ In the months to come, I will make bigger decisions of my personal life. I always believe that my life is short ant that what happen now is too fleet to be wasted. If I were to choose this path, I wonder if my happiness will just last in a space of a moment. That what I dream wont last forever. If all I want is to have a superb career and a great personal life, I know as a human we will never reach that level of satisfaction that God created for us. I learned sometimes ago as an adult that if my goal now is to show people who looked down on me 10 years ago that I am better that them, I will never be happy. No matter how rich I am or no matter how smart, I know I will never satisfy myself. That should not be the ultimate goal. The events that happen to me lately somehow led to my better future. I came to know it is my job to be grateful and the ingredients of a successful life comes with a good faith to God. I need some polish on that. But the best event today came with the smell of money... they made a SIGNIFICANT increase to my salary today. I deserve that. I should be grateful. I am. 6:18 p.m. - 2003-08-22 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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