arttistic's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- fairness, in this case isnt mine to share When they have withdrawn the project bid, I was left to do the 'post-mortem' unofficially alone. I couldnt focus well or staying with the pace they are running. It was sad when I was told the bid was pre-arrranged. I should have known earlier. In a process to legalize the whole thing, an open and fair bid was promoted where in actual concurrences, political connections surpassed all the power we had. They had to withdraw. Along the way, I had finished 75% of the hard works, keeping all the partners on their sweats to get what I want. I became wordless when the news was privately broken. It was pointless to go further knowing we can never get anything. I felt numb. Some Dato's or Tan Sris or even the 'ghosts' must be really happy..sated and heavy in the pockets. I feel stupid being the slave who has to work hard for some tiny and simple luxuries in life. I hate those people for their insensitivity towards others. But screaming unfair wouldnt help either. It's not a fair game. But how long one has to stay in this game, I do not have the answer. I realize that the road is still long for me. 4:10 p.m. - 2003-10-01 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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